We’ve all had that one boyfriend who we think to ourselves:
“You know what, I can see myself being with him for a long, long time.” … Silly, silly girl. Why think such outlandish things?!
I was 16 at the time that I met my notorious ex-boyfriend... For anonymity’s sake, let’s call him Not The One.
I dated Not The One for around two years, in which time I managed to isolate myself from my family and my friends. Clever, right? And, meanwhile I was blissfully unaware that I was throwing my life down the toilet.
He dug his claws in (funny how it’s normally the female that does that…) and I fell head over heels for him. I refused to listen to anyone who told me:
“You know, he’s really not right for you…”
“I think maybe you should consider getting out of that relationship.”
Or even my parents saying:
“We hate him. Get rid of him. He’s ruining your life.”
So, in hindsight, yes I should have listened to what people told me… I should have recognised emotional blackmail when I saw it. But, seeing through rose-coloured glasses seems to change your perspective on certain things or people.
I was willing to drop out of school (which I thankfully didn’t) and I was forever fighting with my parents and everyone else who loved me. Which, in turn, made me run after Not The One for comfort and support even more. Which, I’m sure he got off on.
So, let us fast track through the blackmail, the lies and the cheating through to the event that tipped me over the edge. I know; you all love these soppy stories of girls getting their hearts broken. You’re just as sick as me!
T’was a dark and stormy Saturday night (I actually don’t know if it was dark and stormy… But, just picture it was it’ll add to the dramatic effect!) and I was heading out to run amok in the clubs when Not The One called and said that he was heading out as well. So, like any couple, we organised to meet up.
BUT! When we did meet up, he had another girl with him… Peculiar, right? Ahh, yes. This is after he had a heart-to-heart with me about how he cheated on me on the Friday night with a girl but was “So, so, so, so sorry!”. But, I just assumed that it wouldn’t be the same girl that he was still hanging out with.
But, silly me! It was. So, long story short. He cheated on me on a Friday night, told me about it on the Saturday, brought her out with him when he was meeting me on the Saturday night.
Oh, how that was an interesting night. It seemed that the girl didn’t know that I existed, and was quite put off when she saw me. So, I played my little drunk psychological games with her and sent them on their merry little way.
Long story short, it took me a while to realise that my relationship was toxic. But, as soon as that happened I didn’t care anymore. I waited until after my exams (what a good little student I am!) and then gave it to him. To which he responded with:
“But, but… I was going to ask you to marry me on your birthday.”
HAH. Because that wouldn’t have been a recipe for disaster.
So, over a year on, my head is now screwed on tight and my eyes open to the big wide world of relationships and dating.
And, trust me. I will forever listen to my family and my friends (especially my best friend) about any more relationships. Which, brings me to this blog. I started many, many months after my break up. But, it has been a great release and has helped me come to terms with everything.
So, to the blogging world: I thank you.
Quick Advice:
If every single person tells you that your relationship with someone is going to leave you worse off… LISTEN TO THEM. LISTEN. LISTEN!
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