The Loud, Pathetic & Drunk Stages of a Break-Up...

We all go through stages of emotion when we get out of a serious relationship. These were mine:

1.     I cried… Cried and cried some more… I’m not just talking a few idle tears; I’m talking full blown crazy heart-wrenching crying. On the first night, I made the mistake of listening to some Taylor Swift song (it really seemed like the most depressing song, in hindsight, I could have picked better…) and crying… Loudly. I would like to take this opportunity to apologise to my neighbours.

2.     Just a disclaimer: This is the stage that I hate the most… I became the clingy ex-girlfriend that called up my ex and proclaimed that I couldn’t live without him. I believe it went something like this:

Me: I need you. Please take me back! Please!

Him: I can’t… I have to go.

Me: Don’t go. Don’t leave me. I love you.

Him: Bye…

Me: BUT I LOVE YOU!

Phone hangs up

Pathetic... Oh, so pathetic.

3.     After this stage came the hatred. Now, I’m good at hate. I hate a lot of things and/or people. You could name something out of the blue and I could name at least one thing that I hate about it… Maybe that’s why I’m single… Oh, let’s not even consider that! Anyways, this was when my ex became the sole object of my hate. I hated him, I hated all the pictures that I had of him, I hated the sound of his voice. Anything to do with him made my blood boil. This is the stage that my friends started to encourage me to take revenge… Bad idea.

4.     The fourth stage was my personal favourite. It’s the stage where you go out to the local clubbing scene and try to get as drunk as humanly possible. This is when my friends started egging me on to hook up with nearly every guy that made eyes at me. Now, even though I enjoyed this stage a lot, I ended up going home alone and going on (in a very drunken state) about how much I hated my ex to the taxi driver on the way home…

Now, I should mention that I have always been pretty emotional, so it only took me about a day and a half to go through all of these stages. Most normal people would take much longer… I hear that the crying stage sometimes lasts DAYS within people… But, I’m just too busy to sit around crying.

I think waking up with a hangover as my only companion after the fourth stage was a sign of how my single life is destined to pan out… HELP!